Showing posts with label Birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birth. Show all posts

7 Things You Should Avoid Saying to a New Mom

7 Things You Should Avoid Saying to a New Mom

I recognize that I may have been grumpier than the average newbie mama bear (see I Almost Ate My Professor for Lunch - Graduate School and Pregnancy for more on that). That said, I want to share with you the most annoying things that people said to me in the first few weeks after my child was born. Here they are:


7 Things You Should Avoid

Saying to a New Mom


1.  "Sleep when the baby sleeps."
  • I swore to myself, over and over again, that if one more person told me to, "Sleep when the baby sleeps!" that I was going to slug them.  Turns out that I'm too polite of a person (or too much of a chicken) to do that.  I do understand the concept behind this advice (and I tried my best to follow it).  It's actually very sound advice; however, let the pediatrician and the other doctors/nurses give this advice to the new mom, because, if she was cranky and tired like I was, this will annoy her after the 1000th time that she hears it.
2.  "Breast is best!"
  • I don't disagree with this statement, but this saying gets very old, very quickly for some women, especially if they are already having a hard-time with breastfeeding.  To better illustrate my point, here is a clip from the movie, "Office Space," that does a great job of showing you how I felt each time that someone said, "Don't you know that 'breast is best!'" to me.
    3.  "Cherish these moments."
    • I understand the idea of "living in the moment" and I am a huge advocate of parents not getting too caught-up in the day-to-day chores and of parents making the effort to enjoy the time that they spend with their children (see my post You're Gonna Miss This - A Reminder for Parents for more about my strong feelings about this matter); however, a tired new mom does not need to be reminded of this.  It might make her feel guilty if all she can think about at that moment is a shower or a hot dinner.  Unless you are going to watch her newborn baby for the next 12-hours (and miraculously produce her breast-milk from your own body, if she is breastfeeding)...while she takes a shower, shaves, eats a hot dinner, and gets caught-up on 8-hours of sleep, then I suggest that you lay off of this advice.
    4.  "A woman at my work had twins, and she was back to work in 3-days!"
    • If you say this to a new mom, be prepared for the look of death (a.k.a., the look that a person gives to you when they are attempting to kill you with their eyes).  I swear to God that someone said this to me - and they actually said it to me multiple times, on multiple occasions.  By the third (or maybe fourth) instance that this person told me this 'story,' I lost it - I lost my mind, and it did not end well for that person. 
    5. "I'm so tired."
    • Unless you also have a newborn that wakes up every 1-2 hours to eat, then just shut up. 
    6.  "You'll lose that baby weight in no time!"
    • What I wish I would have said to this comment: "Yeah, so will you!" (this would have been a terrible come-back if the person happened to be skinny - in which case, I have been trying to think of a great comeback to skinny people for the past 2 years....).
    7.  "They're sleeping through the night at this point, right?"
    • Do not say this. Just don't. 

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      You're a first-time mom with a detailed birth plan?  Let me know how that works out for you.

      Yeah, my "birth plan" did not go as planned.  That was not in the brochure!  

      My water was supposed to break (just like it does in the movies), but nope.  I had to be induced.  And even after being induced, I failed to progress.  

      After 24-hours of "labor" (contractions), I had "failed to progress," and I ended up getting a C-section.  I was 0 cm dilated, and at a -3 station.

      Son-of-a...

      The worst part: they wouldn't let me eat (and I was the hungriest pregnant person ever!), and then they wouldn't let me drink (I was also the thirstiest pregnant person ever!).

      Stay tuned for the story of my birth experience.

      What experiences did you have with your 'birth plan'?  Did your child birth experience go as planned?  

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      What do you pack for yourself (and baby) when you go to the hospital or Birthing Center for labor and delivery? Here's a sample packing list that will help you remember all of the important things!  

      Tip:  Make a list of "last minute items" to pack - these are usually the items that you use daily (your bathroom robe, pillows, camera, etc.); you may also want to add the baby items that you still need (car seat, a 'going home outfit' for baby, etc.) to this list.



      Labor and Delivery Packing List:  What I Brought to Hospital Birthing Inn

      For You:
      • Bring Your Own Pillow 

      • Comfy Slippers
        • The ACORN Women's New Spa Slide Slipper are super comfortable.
      • Comfy shoes
        • If you go into labor during dinner and forget to pack your "comfy shoes," then you may end up going home in pajama pants and high-heels.
        • Socks
          • Non-skid socks are nice for effortless bathroom trips and/or walks around the birthing unit
          • If you have sweaty feet, bring your best sweat-absorbing socks
          • Bring extras.
        • Comfortable underwear (aka, granny panties)
          • Bring extras. Things get messy.
        • Nightgown
          • If you are going to be breastfeeding, try to find a nightgown that opens up in the front - for ease access
        • Robe
          • ...because your butt will show in the back of the hospital gown.  I would recommend a terry cloth material for your robe because you'll be sweating a lot.  The Women's Terry Cloth Bathrobe Robe (Ecovaganza); An Eco Friendly Gift of Luxury is really comfy.
        • Thermos for water 
          • No-spill thermoses are the best.  I am obsessed with the Contigo AUTOSEAL Stainless Steel Vacuum Insulated Tumbler.  It keeps your drinks cold/hot and best of all - it won't spill in your purse.  I take mine with me everywhere.
        • Comfortable Going Home Outfit for yourself


        For Your Significant Other:

        • Snacks / Drinks for Your Significant Other
          • They get hungry too - don't let your spouse's hunger hinder his ability to support you during labor.  Bring snacks that you know he'll eat (for Mr. Mia, it was beef jerky .. but I made him eat it in the other room because I wasn't allowed to eat).
        • Toothpaste and Toothbrush for Your Spouse
        • Toiletries for Your Spouse (deodorant, contact lens supplies, etc.)
        • Change of Clothing for Your Spouse 
        • Pajamas for Your Spouse
          • Make sure that his PJs are the type of PJs that he would feel comfortable wearing in a hospital room that hospital nurses are constantly walking in and out of
        • Pillow and Blanket for your Spouse


        For Baby:

        • Baby's Outfits
          • Newborn Size and 0-3 months size, depending on size of baby (for twins or early deliveries, you may need to bring preemie sized outfits).  See Top 12 Must-Have Newborn Clothing Items for more newborn clothing essentials.
        • Cute Baby Hat 

          • Baby hats with animal ears are my personal favorite.  See Top 12 Must-Have Newborn Clothing Items for more on baby hats.  Also check out Etsy.com.
        • Cute Baby Bows/Headbands (for girls)
          • Check out Etsy.com for adorable baby headbands and bows.
        • Swaddle blanket(s)

          • The Summer Infant SwaddleMe Blankets were my favorite swaddle blankets because they use Velcro (the Velcro is key and makes swaddling a baby significantly easier).
        • Diaper Bag
        • Side-Snap Onesie Bodysuits
        • Car Seat 
          • Make sure you have it installed in your car - they won't let you leave the hospital without this basic step!  We used a Chicco carseat and loved it.
        • See Top 25 Must-Have Newborn and Baby Items for more must-have baby gear


        Misc.

        • Camera
        • Charger for the Camera
        • Cell phone charger
        • A good music playlist for distraction
        • Books to read that don’t require concentration
          • Personally, reading was the last thing that I wanted to do, but I've heard some women say that reading, for them, was helpful during labor.
          • When I was pregnant, books that took my mind off of how uncomfortable I was:  Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth and Baby Laughs: The Naked Truth About the First Year of Mommyhood (both written by Jenny McCarthy).
          • I also really liked the books The Girlfriends' Guide to Surviving 1st year mother (Perigee) and The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy (both written by Vicki Iovine).
        • Pen and Paper 
          • Because what if you need to write stuff down?
        • Your birth plan (or an idea of what you want to happen)
          • If you have one...even though birth plans are usually worthless because you can't really control too much of what happens during the process, and the nurses might laugh at you if you show them your "birth plan."
        • Don’t forget a photo ID
        • Your Insurance Information
        • Your Check Book (for misc. orders)
        • Cash (for vending machines) and Credit Cards

        For Breastfeeding:

        • A book on nursing/breastfeeding
        • Nursing bra and nursing shirt
        • Snacks for you
        • Nipple cream
        • Nursing pads
        • Nursing pillow (e.g., the Boppy Pillow or the Leachco Cuddle-U Nursing Pillow)


        Toiletries:

        • Face Wash 
        • Shampoo and Conditioner (Travel Size)
        • Lip balm 
          • Nothing worse than chapped lips without chap-stick  and hospitals are dry
        • Loofah Shower Sponge (if you use one)
        • Sanitary Pads 
          • Find sanitary pads that are to your own liking (the hospital sanitary pads and huge and uncomfortable)
          • Make sure they are heavy duty
        • Contact Lens and Solution
        • Eye glasses (and case)
        • Make-Up 
          • (if you are so motivated)
        • Head bands and hair ties

        Did we forget something?  
        If so, leave a comment!

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