Here are the distinct differences between myself before pregnancy, and myself during pregnancy. I have transformed this into a post about how you think when you are pregnant compared to how you think when you are not pregnant.
I have a similar post where I talk about the 7 Things That You Should NEVER Say to a New Mom.
This is for entertainment purposes only. I call this the difference between your pregnant-self and non-pregnant self:
Pregnant Self v. Non-Pregnant Self
|Before Pregnancy||During Pregnancy|
|A stapler falls underneath your desk at work:
||I’m going to pick that stapler up. Here we go…||
It can wait until next year. Alligator clips it is…
|You see a Minivan Commercial:||EW! Never getting one of those. (After kid number three, you probably will).||
This somehow leads you to a greater understanding and appreciation for the true meaning of the “circle of life.” You end up crying.
|When someone interferes with lunch-time, causing it to be postponed:||Annoying.||
Call of Duty strategies begin forming in your brain. Enemy down.
|Your Husband’s Sleeping Noises:||Cute and endearing. (Like a teddy bear)||
He should probably start wearing shin-guards because if he makes that noise one more time, I swear to God….
|What “Nausea” Means to You:||A really bad hangover from Jagermeister you had that one time (or three times) in college.||
Feeling like that time you had a really bad hangover from Jagermeister in college every morning, afternoon, and sometimes at night….oh, and anytime your stomach gets close to relatively empty….or when you suddenly smell vinegar.
|When you hear the phrase from a stranger: “You get so little sleep when you’re pregnant just to prepare you for your newborn”:||(Your response): “Aw, that’s so sweet. I’m going to be a great mom!”||
(Your response): “That is the biggest load of *$&* I’ve ever heard; how does it make sense to prepare a person for sleep deprivation with more sleep deprivation beforehand?!”
You arrive in the Target or Walmart parking lot, and realize that you are still wearing your mouse slippers (you forgot to put on your shoes):
|This would just never happen.||You walk inside anyways.|
|A McDonald’s Commercial:||Ew.||
Oh. My. GOD! The McRib is back. (For some of us, this applies to the “Before You Were Pregnant” column as well.
|Toys’R’Us and Babies’R’Us:||That place your mom used to take you when you were really lucky (Toys’R’Us). That was fun!||
Wait….I have to go to the…uhh…the other side of the store now? (Babies’R’Us). You are the mom now.
|A Wendy’s Commercial:||
Who is that new red-head in the commercial? She’s actually pretty…
|I need a Spicy Chicken Sandwich, with Bleu Cheese. Oh my God.|
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