Dear Yoga Pants,
You make me a better person. Thank you for the comfort that you provide to me and for how safe you make me, and my mid-section, feel each and every day. When I look at you every morning, laying there on the floor just waiting for me so patiently, I know that you will be understanding of whatever decisions that I choose to make that day; your support is empowering.
Thank you for allowing me to eat however much I please during my mealtimes by providing me with your expandable mid-line waste-line that doesn’t punish my underwear line upon temporary expansion. I want you to know that eating that third taco at lunch-time brings me immense joy each and every time. I could not do that without you.
Thank you for not requiring buttons, like my former lover required – his name is “jeans”.
Thank you for helping me defeat the evil “muffin top” that emerges in my mid-section each winter – your elasticity and your flexibility with my torso shows both your true purpose to humanity and it highlights your strong ability to adapt to non-ideal circumstances. These are qualities that are not found in many.
Thank you for your superb ability to truly multi-task…by being my “day-pants,” my pajamas; and, even sometimes (ok, the truth is: often), you even become my “going out for the night” pair of pants – my ex, “Jeans,” may have the looks, but ‘Jeans’ doesn’t understand me the way that you do; I cannot bear to leave you on a Friday night.
Sometimes I feel guilty for not being forthcoming about our relationship; please note that when I wear an extra-long shirt or a tank-top that could technically be worn as a ‘dress’ and which disguises your signature fold-over wrap at the hip (the fold that marks you as a “yoga pant”) that this is not because I am ashamed of you; rather, I am afraid of how much I love you.
Thank you doing a fine job at replacing all other pants in my life. I love you forever.
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