7 Things You Should Avoid Saying to a New Mom

7 Things You Should Avoid Saying to a New Mom

I recognize that I may have been grumpier than the average newbie mama bear (see I Almost Ate My Professor for Lunch – Graduate School and Pregnancy for more on that). That said, I want to share with you the most annoying things that people said to me in the first few weeks after my child was born. Here they are:

7 Things You Should Avoid

Saying to a New Mom

1.  “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”

  • I swore to myself, over and over again, that if one more person told me to, “Sleep when the baby sleeps!” that I was going to slug them.  Turns out that I’m too polite of a person (or too much of a chicken) to do that.  I do understand the concept behind this advice (and I tried my best to follow it).  It’s actually very sound advice; however, let the pediatrician and the other doctors/nurses give this advice to the new mom, because, if she was cranky and tired like I was, this will annoy her after the 1000th time that she hears it.

2.  “Breast is best!”

  • I don’t disagree with this statement, but this saying gets very old, very quickly for some women, especially if they are already having a hard-time with breastfeeding.  To better illustrate my point, here is a clip from the movie, “Office Space,” that does a great job of showing you how I felt each time that someone said, “Don’t you know that ‘breast is best!'” to me.
    3.  “Cherish these moments.”
    • I understand the idea of “living in the moment” and I am a huge advocate of parents not getting too caught-up in the day-to-day chores and of parents making the effort to enjoy the time that they spend with their children (see my post You’re Gonna Miss This – A Reminder for Parents for more about my strong feelings about this matter); however, a tired new mom does not need to be reminded of this.  It might make her feel guilty if all she can think about at that moment is a shower or a hot dinner.  Unless you are going to watch her newborn baby for the next 12-hours (and miraculously produce her breast-milk from your own body, if she is breastfeeding)…while she takes a shower, shaves, eats a hot dinner, and gets caught-up on 8-hours of sleep, then I suggest that you lay off of this advice.

    4.  “A woman at my work had twins, and she was back to work in 3-days!”

    • If you say this to a new mom, be prepared for the look of death (a.k.a., the look that a person gives to you when they are attempting to kill you with their eyes).  I swear to God that someone said this to me – and they actually said it to me multiple times, on multiple occasions.  By the third (or maybe fourth) instance that this person told me this ‘story,’ I lost it – I lost my mind, and it did not end well for that person. 

    5. “I’m so tired.”

    • Unless you also have a newborn that wakes up every 1-2 hours to eat, then just shut up. 

    6.  “You’ll lose that baby weight in no time!”

    • What I wish I would have said to this comment: “Yeah, so will you!” (this would have been a terrible come-back if the person happened to be skinny – in which case, I have been trying to think of a great comeback to skinny people for the past 2 years….).

    7.  “They’re sleeping through the night at this point, right?”

    • Do not say this. Just don’t. 


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