Mommy Mia Monologues: 7 Things You Should Avoid Saying to a New Mom

I recognize that I may have been grumpier than the average newbie mama bear (see I Almost Ate My Professor for Lunch - Graduate School and Pregnancy for more on that). That said, I want to share with you the most annoying things that people said to me in the first few weeks after my child was born. Here they are:

7 Things You Should Avoid

Saying to a New Mom

1. "Sleep when the baby sleeps."

I swore to myself, over and over again, that if one more person told me to, "Sleep when the baby sleeps!" that I was going to slug them. Turns out that I'm too polite of a person (or too much of a chicken) to do that. I do understand the concept behind this advice (and I tried my best to follow it). It's actually very sound advice; however, let the pediatrician and the other doctors/nurses give this advice to the new mom, because, if she was cranky and tired like I was, this will annoy her after the 1000th time that she hears it.

2. "Breast is best!"

I don't disagree with this statement, but this saying gets very old, very quickly for some women, especially if they are already having a hard-time with breastfeeding. To better illustrate my point, here is a clip from the movie, "Office Space," that does a great job of showing you how I felt each time that someone said, "Don't you know that 'breast is best!'" to me.

3. "Cherish these moments."

I understand the idea of "living in the moment" and I am a huge advocate of parents not getting too caught-up in the day-to-day chores and of parents making the effort to enjoy the time that they spend with their children (see my post You're Gonna Miss This - A Reminder for Parents for more about my strong feelings about this matter); however, a tired new mom does not need to be reminded of this. It might make her feel guilty if all she can think about at that moment is a shower or a hot dinner. Unless you are going to watch her newborn baby for the next 12-hours (and miraculously produce her breast-milk from your own body, if she is breastfeeding)...while she takes a shower, shaves, eats a hot dinner, and gets caught-up on 8-hours of sleep, then I suggest that you lay off of this advice.

4. "A woman at my work had twins, and she was back to work in 3-days!"

If you say this to a new mom, be prepared for the look of death (a.k.a., the look that a person gives to you when they are attempting to kill you with their eyes). I swear to God that someone said this to me - and they actually said it to me multiple times, on multiple occasions. By the third (or maybe fourth) instance that this person told me this 'story,' I lost it - I lost my mind, and it did not end well for that person.

5. "I'm so tired."

Unless you also have a newborn that wakes up every 1-2 hours to eat, then just shut up.

6. "You'll lose that baby weight in no time!"

What I wish I would have said to this comment: "Yeah, so will you!" (this would have been a terrible come-back if the person happened to be skinny - in which case, I have been trying to think of a great comeback to skinny people for the past 2 years....).

7. "They're sleeping through the night at this point, right?"