Piggy is gone. Letter to Mr. Mia

BACKGROUND:  Mr. Mia had proudly purchased a set of Melissa and Doug Animal Magnets for our toddler.  Mr. Mia has basically taught our 18-month-old the name of every single animal that exists, and both Mr. Mia and “Baby Mia” (our daughter) have been extremely proud of themselves since the beginning of this endeavor.

Baby Mia’s favorite animal magnet was “piggy” (which she pronounced as “Piggayyyyy!”).

Mr. Mia’s favorite animal magnet was, also, Pigggaayyyy.

Unfortunately, one of our dogs (probably our Puggle, Bammer) also had a favorite animal magnet – it turns out that Bammer loved Piggy too….

Dear Mr. Mia,

I need to tell you something.

Mr. Mia, I need to tell you something:  Bammer ate Piggy.   This is my confession: Bammer ate the Piggy magnet.

She probably thought that it was bacon. 

Bammer, our overweight Puggle (the dog that, according to our veterinarian, is at a serious risk for Type 2 Diabetes), probably thought that Piggy was bacon.  I suspect that the Piggy magnet was sitting on our living room floor (after our toddler had probably grabbed it from the fridge and left it there); so, naturally, our dog, Bammer, probably just thought that Piggy was bacon.  And what dog can seriosuly resist bacon?

Therefore, it’s really not Bammer’s fault.  If anything, Bammer is extremely intelligent for associating a piggy magnet with bacon (after all, she’s only a dog), and dogs love bacon.  

So, if you think about it, we should be grateful for having such a brilliant dog in our lives; we could make millions.

So, back to my confession to Mr. Mia.  This is how it happened:

9-days ago, I walked into our living room – only to see the remains of Piggggayyy (piggy magnet), ripped apart on our floor.  You couldn’t even make-out piggy’s head – it was a gruesome scene – but I recognized Pigggayyy from the remains of his curly tail and his blue magnet background.  I swore to myself that I wouldn’t tell a soul what I had just witnessed.


Then, 5-days-ago, Mr. Mia walked into our living room and asked me where Piggy-Magnet was – I didn’t respond; then, he said, “I guess Piggy-Magnet is gone…”…(followed by the saddest face that I’ve ever seen)….then he walked away with his head down.  It was so sad.

This has been eating me up inside for the last 9-days.

It is killing me.

Mr. Mia:  Bammer ate Piggy.  I helped dispose of the body.

I’m so sorry.  Please forgive me.

Love, always,


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