Flight From Hell – My Experience Flying With My 20-Month-Old Toddler

I have just returned from what was seriously a flight from Hell with my 20-month-old toddler daughter.  I wish I would have thought to bring headphones for my little one…(or a Xanax for me…just kidding…kinda) because holy sh**, it was so bad.  My little girl is usually such a happy little tot – I don’t understand what even happened to cause this crazy side of her to emerge.  I can’t help but wonder if her ears were hurting her because she turned into a crazy little devil thing.  This hasn’t happened since I brought my toddler to a baby shower (that was located in a VERY non-baby-proofed home). 

Do you remember, “Taz,” the crazy Tasmanian Devil cartoon character from Looney Tunes?  If so, I want you to try and imagine “Taz” as a feisty 2-year-old toddler.  Then, I want you to try to imagine what it would be like to fly with to fly with little toddler “Taz.”  I found a Tasmanian Devil Iron-On Patch (shown below) from Amazon.com that makes for a fairly accurate depiction of the “Taz” that emerged in my little tot on our 2 flights.  

My 20-Month-Old Toddler On Airplanes  =  Tasmanian Devil

For starters, my little toddler seriously threw her stuffed animal(s) at the poor, unsuspecting woman who was sitting next to us (my LO wasn’t actually intending to throw it at the woman but was merely throwing a tantrum and decided to throw her stuffed Abby Cadabby doll in a fit…which happened to fly and hit the woman who was sitting in the window seat sitting next to us; it was awful…oh yeah, and this happened twice).  

Why did this happen?  Because, apparently, I have NO CONTROL over my child!  I’ve never seen such behavior from my child.  Before kids, I would have judged the parents who had a child who behaved this way.  

I shi* you not – the flight attendant brought Mr. Mia his cup of ice water to drink (which was in one of those plane cups), and before he could even take a sip from it, my LO (who was sitting on his lap) swats her hand at the water cup really hard, causing the entire cup of water to spill ALL OVER THE CROTCH of her daddy….he seriously looked like he wet his pants (it’s really funny now…but it was seriously not funny at the time).

Oh yes – and our entire flight (flying out of Denver) was pretty turbulent  so the seat-belt sign was on the entire time.  So, of course, whose child decides to take the most stinky poo in history?  Yep.  That’s right – my toddler.  Oh, and yes – the seat belt sign was still on…and the turbulence continued to get worse…and the smell of the poop in my toddler’s diaper also continued to get worse.  THE WHOLE GOD D*MN PLANE SMELLED LIKE MY TODDLER’S POOP!  People were seriously staring at us, with a look of disgust and hatred on their faces.  Eventually, despite the turbulence, I made my peace with the situation and I pressed the “call” button for the flight attendant.  When the flight attendant came to our seat,  I told her that my LO had a poopy diaper and I asked her if I could please leave my seat (despite the turbulence) so that I could bring my LO to the bathroom for a diaper change.  The flight attendant’s response:  “OH MY GOD, YES!  THAT’S WHAT THAT SMELL IS?! YES, GO!”

I’m supposed to be flying next week with my toddler – BY MYSELF this time (we’re going to visit her daddy who is stationed for work in a different state right now).  FML.  How am I going to handle this by myself?  Seriously?

Advice needed.

At the very least, I have next year’s Halloween costume for my toddler:

Truth be Told:  The title of my post says: “Do not do  it! Save yourself” in regards to traveling with a 20-month-old, but the truth is that seeing family was worth every miserable second that we spent on with our toddler on the flight.  If you have an opportunity to see family that lives far away, take it.  It’s worth it.  Just learn from the mistakes that I made (i.e., stay tuned for an upcoming  post regarding “lessons learned” on traveling with a 20-month-old).   

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