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Baby

Dear Supernanny: The Letter That I Wrote to Supernanny After Drinking Boxed Wine…

The Letter That I Wrote to Supernanny 
After Drinking Boxed Wine…and that I proof-read later and then realized that I still meant every single word:

(ABSTRACT:  Jo Frost, “The Supernanny,” and Caesar Milan – “The Dog Whisperer” should team up, for at least three television episodes, to combine their wisdom and to help parents of both “humans” and “dogs” learn how to better manage these coinciding-environments).  

Dear Supernanny,

I do not need your help, yet.  I believe that I am following your advice quite well; y
our “Supernanny” show currently owns roughly 60% of the space on our family DVR, as I have weekly “Supernanny Marathons.”  Please note that our child is 18-months-old, and that this is the only child that Mr. Mia and I currently have.

That said, there shall come a day where I will choose to have another child; and possibly even another child after that.  And if Mr. Mia catches me at a “groggy” night, and if my OB/GYN ignores my request for him to, “PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP ME AFTER THREE CHILDREN!” (aka, tie my tubes), then there is a very, very strong chance that I will be writing to you, dear Supernanny, begging and pleading for your help. Please do not ignore me when and if this day comes.  I beg of you to please consider the application that my future, desperate-self may send to you.  

I thought it would be prudent to forewarn you in regards to my flaws – both as a mother and as a “lady”:

————–

Comments That the Supernanny Would Say To Me Immediately Upon Observing My Daily Life:  


Instance 1:
  • Supernanny:  As a mother, do you ever do your laundry?
  • My Response:  I will shamefully respond with “no.” (See my post These Are My Pack n Play Confessions for further information).
Instance 2:

  • Supernanny:  Have you no control over your dogs?
  • My Response: No. Not really. (crap!)

Instance 3:

  • Supernanny:  Don’t you think it would be easier on yourself if you woke earlier in the morning?
  • My Response:  Yes. Yes, I do.  But I hate the mornings.  (All eye contact with Supernanny will be avoided at this point, so as to avoid the shameful stare that she will give to me.)

——————-

Supernanny, your show, the “Supernanny,” serves many purposes for my family.   Let me walk you through some of those purposes:

  1. Because of your awesome lessons in child discipline, I am confident that I will rock the time-outs for my children, and in an unexpected (but totally normal/healthy) way, I am actually excited to master this skill.
  2. Your “Supernanny” television series serves as a back-up method of birth control for me.  Thank you, Supernanny, for providing me with an amazing back-up reminder to take my birth control pill in a timely fashion each month.
  3. On a more sentimental note:  Your show reminds me of how important it is for parents to keep their own sanity together before they can ever reasonably expect to have any sort of control over their households.
  4. Joe, you are a “baby whisperer.”   That said, I cannot help but wonder whether you ever watch the TV show, “The Dog Whisperer” with Caesar Milan?  We have two dogs and a toddler – for a total of three creatures that we must maintain daily. 
    • Once I have my next child, I will be sending you and Caesar Milan (“The Dog Whisper”) a formal (and likely desperate) invitation to my household for a dual-consulting trip.  (See my list below for reasons that this would be the most amazing thing that will/has ever happen(ed) to me).
    • Joe and Caesar:  If you accept my invitation, then I will make you the best pulled pork sandwich and the best spicy pesto chicken pasta (with goat cheese) that either of you have even had.  I also make amazing salads and amazing crostinis. (I have become extremely hungry even writing about my cooking.)
    • I strongly believe that my two dogs, coupled with my toddler and my future out-of-control children will make for a great television show.
  5. Supernanny, if I never get around to having more children, will you please seriously consider teaming up with the Dog Whisperer?  I probably won’t have another child for at least a few years, but I would love to see you do this!  Our dogs try to eat my toddler’s cheerios  and taking the dogs out in the morning can be quite the challenge with a toddler.  The Lord only knows what I will face with more children and more creatures!
  6. To both Joe (Supernanny) and Caesar (The Dog Whisperer): our invitation for pesto chicken pasta and/or pulled pork sandwiches is always open.  I love you guys!

More on the Supernanny potential partnership with “The Dog Whisperer”:
(Thank you, Boxed Wine.)
  • The best(est) part, perhaps, will be to see my two favorite television celebrities – The Supernanny and the Dog Whisperer – work together. The entire last decade of my life has been dedicated to learning the best methods for raising happy, healthy creatures in my home – both my dogs and, now, my child.  And the majority of this advice has come from both you, Supernanny, and from the “The Dog Whisperer” – Caesar Milan.  



To see the two of you together would be the virtually the same as the following situations:

  • Witnessing Michael Jordan and Steve Nash collaboratively play on an NBA team together.
    • It would make me very happy.
  • It would be like if my favorite beer – Blue Moon – teamed up with my favorite wine – Chardonnay.  
    • It would make me very happy.
  • It would be like if my chocolate milk paired up with my favorite energy drink – V8 Splash.
    • It would make me very happy.
  • It would be like if my favorite show of all time, “Friends,” suddenly decided to collaborate with my current greatest, favorite show of all time – “Homeland.”  Can you imagine the synergy?  
    • It would make me very happy.
  • It would be like if the healthcare sector collaborated with the information technology departments (I’m a supply chain manager for a healthcare system during the day…this would be fantastic if this occurred).
    • It would make me very happy.

Thank you.

Sincerely,


Mommy Mia



Favorite Baby Gym Photo Time

A Must-Have Favorite Baby Toy: 

Here are photos of my little one playing with the Fisher-Price Discover ‘n Grow Kick and Play Piano Gym.  I love this toy (it’s in my top 25 must-have items for newborns).


‘Photo Bomb’ of Toddler Using the Fisher-Price Discover ‘n Grow Kick and Play Piano Gym:


Below you’ll find a “photo bomb” of my little one going to town on this baby gym.  She used it all the way up to about 10-months-old.  This baby gym is mentioned in my post 6 Best Baby Toys (0-12 Months), and also in Top 25 Must-Have Newborn Baby Items.  The best part about it is the piano, and the mirror for baby to play with.

Here is a photo bomb of my toddler playing with the
Fisher-Price Discover ‘n Grow Kick and Play Piano Gym throughout her first year:

Tessa Had a Hard Day
at the Baby Gym 3-Months-Old
Baby Gym at 2-Months Old 
Baby Gym at 9-Months Old
Baby Gym at 2-Months-Old
Tummy Time With Baby Gym
at 4-Months-Old
Playing the Piano Lady Gaga Style
at 6-Months-Old
Baby Gym Workout
at 3-months-old
2-Months-Old Baby Gym


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How to Save Money on Diapers and Other Household Items

 


Step 1)  Sign up for Amazon Mom (discount on diapers).

Step 2)  Utilize Amazon Subscribe and Save (additional discounts). 

  • I love Amazon Mom and Amazon Subscribe and Save because these two programs combine to make the perfect Just-In-Time supply chain inventory system for your household (supply chain management synergy at its finest).  
  • Amazon Mom members receive 15% off of diaper orders.  
  • Amazon’s Subscribe and Save products provide a 5% discount off of all eligible products (e.g., toothpastes, deodorants, Diaper Genie refills, etc.). 
  • For diapers, this adds up to 20% off per pack of diapers! This is huge, especially considering that the diapers are delivered to your very own front door! 
Price Discounts With Amazon Mom and Amazon Subscribe and Save

Example:  We buy “Pampers – Overnight Extra Protection Diapers Super Pack” for our toddler.  Here is the pricing summary for buying these diapers through Amazon and Wal-Mart (as of January 2013):
  • Amazon Regular Price (including delivery) =  $28.99.
  • Amazon Price With Amazon Mom Membership + Amazon Subscribe and Save (including delivery to your front door) = $23.19 (20% off Amazon Price)
  • Wal-Mart In-Store Price (Wal-Mart pricing used for price comparison purposes) = $24.94 
  • Savings = at least $1.75 Per Diaper Pack
After doing the math, you see that with Amazon Mom and Amazon Subscribe and Save, you save at least $1.75 per pack of diapers through Amazon.com, AND the diapers are delivered to your front doorstep.

Screenshot of My Amazon 
Account Diaper Order

 

Important Notes About Amazon Subscribe and Save:
  • With Amazon Subscribe and Save, you get to choose the delivery frequency of the products that you subscribe to (for example: do you need deodorant twice a month, or once a month?…you get to decide).  
  • We use Amazon Subscribe and Save for our Diaper Genie Refills (3-Pack) and it shows up at our front door every 2-months.  It’s amazing.   Our entire household uses it for deodorant  toothpaste, hair products, etc.  I have my favorite makeup face powder sent to me monthly.
  • Subscribe and Save items will also save you from the pain of actually remembering to buy these items when you’re at the store.  Running out of deodorant or diapers is never a good thing.  This helps prevent that.     

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Top 25 (Non-Ugly) Baby Diaper Bags That Don’t Actually Look Like Diaper Bags (2015)

Top 25 Non-Ugly Baby Diaper Bags That Don't Actually Look Like Baby Diaper Bags



Choosing a Diaper Bag:

If you fall into the category of the type of mom (or mom-to-be) who does NOT want to stroll around town carrying an extra-large bag over your shoulder that screams, “THIS IS A DIAPER BAG! CAN’T YOU TELL FROM THE BRIGHT PINK AND YELLOW FLOWERS AND THE NYLON MATERIAL?”, then this post is for you.  This post is different than the Top 25 Must-Have Newborn and Baby Items because this post focuses exclusively on the diaper bag itself.


Is your diaper bag ugly?
You may be wondering how you can determine whether or not your diaper bag is ugly (and therefore determine whether it “screams” when walking into a room).  Your ugly diaper bag will distinguish itself from a normal purse or tote through its overly-stated patterns, pastel-colored designs and presence of animal characters and flowers.


The Real Reason That We Buy Ugly Diaper Bags:
Why do we buy such ugly diaper bags?  For whatever reason, by the time “baby registry day” comes around, our ability to distinguish between good fashion from bad fashion often has already disappeared when it comes to diaper bag selection.  Instead of picking a color or style that we actually like ourselves, many of us decide that we should incorporate those cute little pastel-colored zoo animals from baby’s nursery into the theme of this brand new, and often expensive, diaper bag that we will be using every day for the next several months.  (I made this mistake when I picked out my first diaper bag, and if you are like me, then you WILL get tired of carrying around a bag with pink and purple giraffes on it, every day.)


Practical and Stylish Diaper Bags:
This last week, my good friend found out that she is expecting a baby and she asked me to put together her baby registry.  I have had so much fun putting it all together for her.  For the last three days, I have exclusively focused my time on “diaper bag research” (and yes, “diaper bag research” is an actual thing).  My goal was to find a diaper bag that doesn’t actually look like a “diaper bag,” and that was both: (a) practical and large enough, and (b) that disguised itself as an adorable and fashionable purse or tote.


Here are my favorite diaper bags:
(Note:  Don’t forget to share your favorite diaper bag by commenting on this post!)


Top 25 Baby Diaper Bags


1. Petunia Pickle Bottom Cafe Carryall

1.  Petunia Pickle Bottom Cafe Carryall

Link:  Petunia Pickle Bottom Cafe Carryall






2. Urban Mom Stylish Diaper Bag

2.  Urban Mom Stylish Diaper Bag

Link:  Urban Mom Stylish Diaper Bag – Tote Style






3. Kate Spade New York Basic Nylon Stevie Baby Bag

3.  Kate Spade New York Basic Nylon Stevie Baby Bag

Link:  Kate Spade New York Basic Nylon Stevie Baby Bag







4. OiOi Carry All Diaper Bags
4.  OiOi Carry All Diaper Bags
OiOi Carry All Diaper Bag







5. timi and leslie Jessica Diaper Bag


5.  timi and leslie Jessica Diaper Bag

Link:  timi and leslie Jessica 7-Piece Diaper Bag







6. JJ Cole Baby Bag (Cafe)

6.  JJ Cole Baby Bag (Cafe)

Link:  JJ Cole Baby Bag (Cafe)








7. timi and leslie Dawn Diaper Bag

7.  timi and leslie Dawn Diaper Bag

Link:  timi and leslie Dawn Diaper Bag








8. Ju-Ju-Be Be Prepared Legacy Collection Diaper Bag

8.  Ju-Ju-Be Be Prepared Legacy Collection Diaper Bag

Link:  Ju-Ju-Be Be Prepared Legacy Collection Diaper Bag, First Lady







9. Ju-Ju-Be Super Be Legacy Collection Zippered Diaper Bag Tote
9.  Ju-Ju-Be Super Be Legacy Collection Zippered Diaper Bag Tote

Link:  Ju-Ju-Be Super Be Legacy Collection Zippered Diaper Bag Tote, Queen of The Nile







10.  JJ Cole Caprice Diaper Bag

Link:  JJ Cole Caprice Diaper Bag








11.  Babymel Cara Stripe Tote Bag

Link:  Babymel Cara Stripe Tote Bag








12.  Kate Spade Classic Spade Adaira Baby Bag

Link:  Kate Spade Classic Spade Adaira Baby Bag







13.  Kate Spade Spot Nylon Stevie Tote Baby Bag

Link:  Kate Spade Spot Nylon Stevie Tote Baby Bag








14.  Petunia Pickle Bottom Glazed Statement Satchel
Link:  Petunia Pickle Bottom Glazed Statement Satchel – Indigo








15.  timi and leslie Rachel Diaper Bag

Link:  timi and leslie Rachel Diaper Bag











16.   Ju-Ju-Be Nautical Legacy Collection Be Prepared Diaper Bag

Link:  Ju-Ju-Be Nautical Legacy Collection Be Prepared Diaper Bag, The First Mate







17.  Carter’s Zip Front Fashion Tote Diaper Bag

Link:  Carter’s Zip Front Fashion Tote Diaper Bag







18.  Carter’s Zip Fashion Diaper Bag

Link:  Carter’s Zip Fashion Diaper Bag






19.  JJ Cole Parker Diaper Bag

Link:  JJ Cole Parker Diaper Bag








20.  Coach Peyton Brown Signature Baby Diaper Bag

Link:  Coach Peyton Brown Signature Multifunction Tote and Baby Diaper Bag










21.  Petunia Pickle Bottom City Carryall

Link:  Petunia Pickle Bottom City Carryall








22.  Petunia Pickle Bottom Altogether Tote

Link:  Petunia Pickle Bottom Altogether Tote








23.  Universal Stroller Organizer By Ethan and Emma
Link:  Universal Stroller Organizer By Ethan and Emma








24.  OiOi Tote Diaper Bag – Leather Tan Slouch
Link:  OiOi Tote Diaper Bag – Leather Tan Slouch








25.  Storksak Elizabeth Leather Diaper Bag
Link:  Storksak Elizabeth Leather Diaper Bag




BONUS:


26.  Storksak Sofia Leather Diaper Bag
Link:  Storksak Sofia Leather Diaper Bag





27.  Teal and Gray Color Block Diaper Tote Bag by White Elm – The Moxie
Link:  Teal and Gray Color Block Diaper Tote Bag by White Elm – The Moxie






SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE:

I remember being pregnant with my first child and feeling like the concept of diaper bags was somewhat of a mystery to me. Which features were important? Were you only allowed to carry diapers in it? I realized today that I have a deeply-rooted dislike for the diaper bag that I so naively purchased prior to having my first child.





Top Diapers for Baby – The Best Diapers Broken Down by Size, Stages, and Phases of Baby (2013)

Looking for the best diaper for your baby?  So was I.  It turns out that the “best” diaper changes by the stages/phases that your baby goes through.  I made this list of my favorite diapers, broken out by my baby’s stage.  It would have really helped me when I needed to know the best diaper for my baby based off of her specific needs at the time.  I tried almost every single type and brand of diaper out there (and ultimately wasted a lot of money on bad diapers).  What I found was that my preferences in diapers changed as my child grew and developed different characteristics and needs.  Not all babies are the same; however, it sure doesn’t hurt to have a “starting point” as far as a list of great diapers goes.  The diaper aisle was overwhelming for me when I was a first-time mom and pregnant.  Here is a timeline, and list, of the best diapers (in my opinion), broken down by the stage that baby was in:


Top Baby Diapers 
by Milestones and Phases

Best Diaper By Baby Type:

1.  The Newborn With an Umbilical Stump:


Huggies Little Snugglers Diapers for Newborn

You can’t beat an umbilical stump cut-out for newborns.  The only brand that I have found with this feature is the Huggies Little Snugglers Diapers for Newborn.  These diapers have a cut-out so that your baby’s umbilical stump (aka. the belly button area) doesn’t  get moist from baby’s wet diaper. It takes longer for a moist umbilical stump to fall off than a dry one.  This also mitigates the risk of infection to the umbilical stump area.  

2.  The Newborn Without an Umbilical Stump:

Pampers Swaddlers

After the umbilical stump falls off, me personal favorite diaper is the Pampers Swaddlers Diapers.  They have a “wetness indicator” to let you know when, and if, your baby has a wet diaper.  This feature is a luxury (not necessary) but it’s sure nice to have.  They are also very flexible diapers and easy for the “user” (aka, you) to attach to baby.

3.  The Baby Who Sleeps Longer than 6-Hours:

Huggies Snug N Dry

Huggies Snug and Dry Diapers   are great for that transition between your baby sitting there and being a blob and your baby being able to wiggle and move.  They keep your baby dry – for very longer periods of time than the diapers designed for a “newborn.”  They absorb a ton of liquid, so your baby can nap or sleep longer without getting a nasty diaper rash.

4.  The Baby Who Sleeps Longer than 9-hours:

Pampers Overnight Extra Protection

It was a true toss-up for me between the Pampers Extra Protection Nighttime Diapers and the Huggies Snug and Dry Diapers.  Both diapers provide excellent overnight protection; however, the Pampers Extra Protection Nighttime Diapers are very versatile diapers in that they are flexible enough for baby (and young toddler) to move around free (from crawling to walking to running) around the house.  


5.  The Baby Who Wiggles and Crawls:

Pampers Cruisers

I keep Pampers Cruisers Ultra Diapers on-hand for my very active child, and I personally have found them to be more “user-friendly” (aka “Mommy Friendly”) than the Huggies Little Movers.  

However, it is important to note that Huggies Little Movers come out with adorable theme, such as the “jeans diaper” (see Jean-Style Huggies Little Movers Diapers), and the “Santa diaper” (see Huggies Santa Diaper) periodically, and these adorable diapers are pretty hard to argue with. 

Santa Diapers
Jean Diapers


What are your favorite diapers for 
each stage/size/phase of baby?



Top 35 Life Lessons – From Mother to Daughter

35 Life Lessons, Wisdom and Advice for my Child

Below is a list of 35 of my favorite life lessons, and pieces of wisdom, that I’ve heard (and not always listened to but usually wish that I had) throughout my life.   This list of advice comes from a wide variety of sources: from my grandparents…to Oprah…to complete strangers who have an unusually great perspective on life.  I’m always thankful to find this advice handy in my memory, and I’d like it to be prevalent in my life.  Most of all, I want this advice to be accessible to my daughter as she gets old – and that is the reason that I created this post.


35 Lessons to Pass On 
To Your Daughter

1.  Don’t give someone a “hammer” to hit you over the head with.  

This is a figure of speech.  My grandfather told this to my mom while she was growing up – what it means is to be careful with what you do, say and share with people.  You don’t want something that you have done, or said, to one day come back and bite you (or, rather, to come back as the “hammer” (so to speak) that hits you over the head later on down the road).  

2.  Before you speak, picture whatever it is that you are about to say on the chalkboard in front of your classroom with your name underneath it, or on Facebook.  

Do you still want to say it?

3.  Beware of the unintended consequences of gossiping.  

Before you indulge in gossiping about other people behind their back(s), beware of the impression that you may be giving off to the people who are listening to you.  Keep in mind that the person(s) that you are talking to may then start wondering what you say behind her own back and they may re-consider your potential loyalty as a friend.

4.  “You wouldn’t care so much about what other people thought of you if you knew how little that they really did.” 

Yes. Ok, fine! This piece of advice is quoted from Dr. Phil; and yes, I admit it – I used to enjoy watching “Dr. Phil”.  Remember to tell yourself that you would not care what other people thought about you if you truly knew how little that they actually do think about you.  When you’re worried about what other people think of you, tell yourself this:  “Other people aren’t paying as much attention to me as I am, so I shouldn’t worry about every little thing I do.”  Most of the time, people are thinking about themselves – not you.


5. Let go of what you can’t change, and don’t worry about things that you have no control over.


More importantly, learn how to identify what these things look like in your life (e.g., the weather, your test results, etc.), because putting your energy into something that you can’t change or control is a waste of time, energy, and sleep; and it will drain you.


6.  You can never be happy with someone else until you are happy with yourself.  

7.  Remember that not everyone is going to like you, and that some people are just mean for no apparent reason.  

Some people get their “psychological jollies” out of making you feel sad and down because then it makes them feel better about themselves. Don’t lose sleep over getting “in” with the “cool” crowd.  Exude confidence (not arrogance); remember that you teach people how to treat you; and then, friends will follow from there.

8.  Be kind to other people.

You have no idea what those next to you may be going through in their own lives.  “Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked two moons in his shoes” (this is a quote from a book that I read in 4th grade called “Walk Two Moons”); this means that you cannot judge a man until you’ve ‘walked’ at least 2-days (or, rather, “2-moons”) in ‘his shoes.’  (Walk Two Moons is a great book to read with your child to encourage empathy).

9.  Do not cry at work.  

Crying is perfectly fine, but try not to cry at work (easier said, than done).  If you do cry, DO NOT make a scene.

10.  Remember that there’s always someone out there who has it worse than you do.

Any time there is a situation where you don’t get your way, remember that there are people in this world that never even had the opportunity.

11.  When you’re wrong, apologize.  

Apologizing does not always mean that you were wrong and the other person was right. Sometimes it just means that you value the relationship more than your ego. 

12.  Here are the steps to a real apology:

  • Fully acknowledge the offense – acknowledge what you are sorry about.
  • Offer a truthful explanation as to why your behavior occurred   Do not offer an excuse – excuses merely deflect blame.
  • Offer a genuine expression of remorse. Do NOT say, “I’m sorry that you feel that way….” – that is a bogus apology that should be saved only for people who deserve it.
  • Ask what you can do to make things better, and then listen to what they say, and make sure that they know that you are listening.

(These steps were inspired by Oprah’s article on The Right Way to Apologize).



13.  To be ‘wise’ means that you are able to admit when you don’t know the answer.  

My dad taught me this:  don’t pretend to know the answer to something if you don’t.  Saying, “I don’t know,” is far better than pretending and potentially having people notice that you are B.S.ing – trust me, this will make you look like a much bigger idiot than simply not knowing the answer.  If you don’t know the answer, but still want to contribute to the conversation, then you can say, “Well, if I had to make an educated guess, it would be….”.

14.  If you need help, then you need to ask for it.  

I learned this lesson the hard way at my first job out of college.  

15.  Never date a man who is rude to waiters, or mean to animals.

16.  Learn how to laugh at yourself.  

You’re going to look like an ass at some (actually, many) point(s) in your life.  You will look like less of an ass if you’re able to laugh at yourself about whatever it is that you did.


17.  Remember that there is always something to be thankful for.

18.  Never try to solve problems at night.  

All problems seem worse at night, and everything seems like a bigger deal when you are tired.  Go to sleep.  The problem will probably not be as big of a deal in the morning.   (If you’re tired and you’ve been drinking, you’re probably wrong anyway about whatever it is that you’re saying/arguing about – so again, just go to sleep, and deal with it in the morning!).  

19.  When you have a crisis and feel like your life is over, remember this advice that my grandfather used to say to my mom:  

  • 1 month from now, you won’t be hurting as badly.  
  • 6-months from now, you probably won’t even be thinking about it.  
  • 5-years from now, you might not even remember it.


20. What we see depends mainly on what we look for. So focus on where you want to be – not on where you don’t want to go.


My first time snowboarding was a nightmare – I skipped the “Bunny Hill” and arrogantly decided to start my first snow-boarding experience at the top of Vail mountain (a terrible idea for a first-time snow-boarder), and despite my extreme fear of running into a tree as I went down the Blue Diamond ski slope, I still found myself, time and time again, tangled up in the trees on the side of the mountain, struggling to get out of the white powder and back on the smoother snow trail.   Then, a wise man in a blue snow-suit gave me wonderful words of advice, “Keep your eyes focused on where you want to go (which was the chair lift) – and not on where you don’t want to go (which was the trees at the side of the mountain).”  Before he pointed this out to me, I had been so focused on not running into the trees on the side of the mountain that my eyes were literally focused on that stupid forest.  So then, I took his advice, and I changed my focus and kept my eyes on the chair-lift at the bottom of the mountain.  And guess what?   It worked.  This new mentality magically re-programmed my body and brought me to the chairlift (with no stops at the stupid trees).  Don’t get me wrong: I still fell on my butt a lot on my way to the chairlift, but that was way better than ending up wrapped around the trunk of a pine tree under a pile of snow!  I think this advice is a great analogy that can cross-over to our real, everyday life.  Keep your focus on where you want to be – not your fears.





21.  Never try to figure to out how you should solve a problem; focus on what you want the end result to be and then make decisions that you will help you get there.  (Thank you, Dad.)


22.  If you can’t sleep, fake it.  

This advice was given to me by my daughter’s pediatrician (a woman that I never thought I would be quoting) the day that my daughter was born.  Her pediatrician was emphasizing to me the importance of sleep for moms with a newborn.   The reason she said this is because I had just expressed to her that I didn’t know if I could follow the advice that I had been given to “sleep when the baby sleeps” (which is, by the way, the most annoying advice EVER because 100+ people told me this after my baby was born).  I didn’t understand how I would ever be able to change my sleep schedule, let alone be able to sleep sporadically throughout the middle of the day (as newborns nap every 2 hours).  But guess what? This advice is great (at least for me).  Even if you can’t fall asleep, “faking it” is the next best thing because resting has adds a considerable amount of value to the recharging of your mind and body too.  The dishes can wait.

23.  If you’re having trouble solving a problem after repeated attempts, then try a different approach.  

According to some references, the definition of “insanity” is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”  Try going about it in a different way.

24.  If you don’t have time to do it right the first time, then when are you going to have time to do it over?  

Don’t rush through an important task.  Don’t “half-ass” it.   If it’s difficult to do now, then it’s going to be even more annoying to go back and fix later.

25.  Surround yourself with people who build you up.  

Surround yourself with people who see greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.

26.  If you’re ever having trouble making conversation with other people, ask them about themselves.  

People like talking about themselves (and/or their kids).

27.  Only eat french fries that are hot and crispy and fresh.  

My dad (who is kind of a health nut) instilled this idea in me growing up; I’m not a health nut, but I appreciate the logic behind this – if you’re going to eat something that’s bad for you, then do it right and make sure it tastes good!  When you place your order, give the server a big smile and ask if you can wait for a fresh batch of french fries.  If I’m going to get fatter from something – it better taste good.

28.  The best time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.

29.  Always bring chap-stick and a bottle of water to a job interview.  

Nothing is worse than a dry mouth and/or chapped lips when you’re trying to talk someone into hiring you.

30.  The Middle School (aka, Junior High) and High School phases suck for most girls.  Remember that Middle School and High School are just short phases of your life.

The Middle School and High School crowd can be just plain mean.  The social torture that many of us experience during our awkward Middle School and High School phases seems like a very cruel “right of passage” before we enter the best part of the rest of our lives – young adulthood.   The “college phase” is so much better – if not the best.


31.  Writing down your worries on paper before a big exam or a big presentation at work can help you relieve anxiety and help you perform better.


32.  Never reply when you are angry.  Never make a promise when you are happy.  Never make a decision when you are sad.


33.  If you don’t want anyone to find out, don’t do it.


34.  Happiness is a choice a choice to live your life with a certain state of mind.  

Happiness usually doesn’t just come to you – at least not after childhood ends.  You often have to fight for happiness.  Remember that you are in charge of how you feel.  Think happy.  Be happy. 

  • “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” Mahatma Gandhi
  • “It is only possible to live happily ever after on a daily basis.” Margaret Bonanno
  • “Mistakes will be made. Failure will occur. You pick yourself up and carry on.”  – Elizabeth Gilbert.

35.  Follow your passion for your career.  

To my daughter: My wish for you is that you follow what you are passionate about, because that is what you will be good at.




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Funny Books that Will Make (Almost) Any Pregnant Woman Laugh

I felt like a dinosaur during my third trimester (a dinosaur with a lot of gas…see more about how I felt like a dinosaur during pregnancy at My 3rd Trimester of Pregnancy – Thunk! Thunk! Here I Come!), and I just wanted someone who could empathize with me about how fat my feet were and how much they hurt. Two books that kept my sense of humor [somewhat] alive at the end of my pregnancy were written by two different woman, Jenny McCarthy and Vicki Iovine, who offer two refreshing perspectives on the realities of pregnancy, and they are not “too polite to complain or too embarrassed to talk about the discomforts and humiliations of pregnancy.”

2 Funny Books That Will Make 
(Almost) Any Pregnant Woman Laugh


Belly Laughs, by Jenny McCarthy

Link:  Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth


Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth reveals all the joys and sweet discoveries of being pregnant, from puking bouts and hormonal rage to hemorrhoids, pregnant sex, and big ol’ granny underpants. McCarthy draws from her own difficult pregnancy to discuss every stage of expectant motherhood in vivid, sometimes excruciating — and excruciatingly funny — detail. Belly Laughs is a must-read for any woman who is pregnant, has ever been pregnant, or hopes to become pregnant.




The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy, by Vicki Iovine

Link:  The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy

The author of The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy talks to you the way only a best friend can – from what to expect at doctor visits all the way to husbands and their lack of usefulness (at least at time).



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19 Baby Gifts With a Twist of Humor

19 Cute Baby Gifts With a Twist of Humor

I’ve been trying to limit my baby product recommendations to practical items, but I recently decided that funny, humor-based newborn and baby gifts deserved attention too.  Below is a list of funny newborn and baby gifts that I, personally, find to be funny and/or adorably and ridiculously cute.  If you are looking for a baby gift for someone that has a sense of humor, then you might enjoy this list. Keep in mind that whether you find some of these items funny (or not) is largely dependent on your type of humor.


19 Funny Baby Gifts

1.   Tuxedo Onesie Bodysuit

Link:   Frenchie Mini Couture Onesie Bodysuit, Tuxedo 


Funny Because…..Because a baby wearing a tuxedo is funny.  
For a more practical list of newborn and baby clothing items, see Top 12 Must-Have Newborn and Baby Clothes.

2.   Goodnight iPad

Link:   Goodnight iPad: a Parody for the next generation 

Funny Because…I probably don’t need to explain why this is funny.  This is a funny parody on the book “Goodnight Moon,” that any tech-savvy family can appreciate.  For a more practical list of favorite baby books, see Top 10 Baby Books for Baby’s First Years.

3.   Monsters Eat Whiny Children – Book
Link:   Monsters Eat Whiny Children 


Funny Because…Because monsters don’t really actually eat whiny children.  This for those with a darker sense of humor, and for kids with a good grasp on fantasy vs. reality.   For a more practical list of favorite baby books, see Top 10 Baby Books for Baby’s First Years.

4.   The Baby Owner’s Manual

Link:   The Baby Owner’s Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance 

Funny Because…..At some point, a “troubleshooting manual” would really come in handy for that newborn of yours.  This book is great for the engineering “type” of dad.  (Mr. Mia loves this book).  For my favorite “troubleshooting” baby item, see Make Your Life With Newborn Easier – The Newborn Podster or see Top 25 Must-Have Newborn and Baby Items for a complete list of must-haves for newborns and babies.   




5.   The “Mute Button” – Pacifier

Link:   Mute Button Pacifier 

Funny Because…..Because pacifiers do often mimic the “mute” button on a remote control when it comes to babies.

6.   “These Fools Put My Cape On Backwards” Bib


Link:   These Fools Put My Cape On Backwards Bib 


Funny Because…..This bib is my favorite, and it makes me laugh every time I think about it.   For a list of our most practical baby bibs, see Top 5 Must-Have Baby Bibs, or see Top 25 Must-Have Newborn and Baby Items for a list of all must-have practical baby items

7.   Mustache Pacifier -“Mustachifier”

Link:   Mustachifier – The Gentleman Mustache Pacifier 


Funny Because…It’s a baby with a mustache!  (Hehe!)

8.   Weird-Looking Animal Bibs

 
Link:   Animal Face Baby Bibs  



Funny Because….I just think the animals have funny-looking faces.  For a list of our most practical baby bibs, see Top 5 Must-Have Baby Bibs (2013).

9.   Daddy’s Little Tax Deduction

Link:    Daddy’s Little Tax Deduction 


Funny Because……Children really are tax deduction.  My friends who are accountants find this to be hilarious.   
For a more practical list of newborn and baby clothing items, see Top 12 Must-Have Newborn and Baby Clothes.

10.   The “I Only Cry When Ugly People Hold Me” Baby Onesie

Link:   I Only Cry When Ugly People Hold Me on Infant Onesie

Funny Because….Because people get really insecure when you let them hold your baby, and when they do, your baby starts crying.  For a more practical list of newborn and baby clothing items, see Top 12 Must-Have Newborn and Baby Clothes.

11.   All My Friends Are Dead – Book

  
Link:   All My Friends Are Dead 
Link:   All My Friends Are Still Dead 

Funny Because…..These books have a very clever, dark sense of humor.  This book is NOT for kids – it’s for adults (an interesting coffee table book that makes for a good conversation starter when friends come over).  It also makes a great “bathroom” book.  For a list of the best books that actually for for babies and children, see Top 10 Baby Books for Baby’s First Years.

12.   Go the F**k to Sleep

Link:   Go the F**k to Sleep 

Funny Because…. I, personally, find this book funny, but this book will not be funny for parents who have perfect kids, or parents who dislike swearing.  This book is NOT for kids – it’s a parody of a children’s book for adults – specifically for adults who have struggled with “bedtime” and sleeping with children.  First-time parents (especially first-time moms who are still pregnant) will not find this funny.   For a list of the best books that actually for for babies and children, see Top 10 Baby Books for Baby’s First Years.

13.   Belly Laughs, by Jenny McCarthy


Link:   Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth 

Funny Because…..Jenny McCarthy “says it like it is” when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth  (from stretch marks to gas and much more).  This makes for a great baby shower present.

14.   The “Pull to Sound Alarm” – Pacifier

 
Link:   Personalized Pacifiers Pull to Sound Alarm Pacifier 

Funny Because….Much like the Mute Button Pacifier, this idea holds true for many babies – pull out the pacifier, and the baby will be sure to sounds his alarm.

15.   Shark Baby Robe

Link:   Baby Aspen Let The Fin Begin Terry Shark Robe 


Funny Because…Because babies dressed like sharks are adorable.  
For a more practical list of newborn and baby clothing items, see Top 12 Must-Have Newborn and Baby Clothes.

16.   Little Night Owl – Sleep Sack and Cap


Link:    Baby Aspen My Little Night Owl Snuggle Sack and Cap 


Funny Because….Because it’s a baby dressed like an owl!  This is actually a practical gift too because sleep sacks are actually something that you truly need for a baby (see Top 25 Must-Have Newborn and Baby Items for more practical baby items).

17.   Animal Baby Swaddle Wraps

  
Link:    Beehave Swaddle and Cap Set
Link:    Sozo Baby-boys Newborn Puppy Swaddle Blanket and Cap  
Link:    Swaddle Blanket and Cap Set – Ladybug


Funny Because….The caps have little antennas and doggy ears.  How are these not adorable?  
For a more practical list of newborn and baby clothing items, see Top 12 Must-Have Newborn and Baby Clothes.

18.   The “Gimme a Kiss”  Pacifier 

Link:    Gimme a Kiss Pacifier  

Funny Because…because this pacifier will make your baby look like she’s giving you a kissy face.




19.  I Drink ‘Til I Pass Out

 
Link:   Baby Onesies – I Drink ‘Til I Pass Out Onesie

Funny Because…..Not everyone will find the humor in this onesie.  This is a better gift for NON-first-time-parents who understand that a bottle/breast puts a baby to sleep (otherwise they will probably just think you are extremely rude and wonder why you gave them such an inappropriate gift).  For a more practical list of newborn and baby clothing items, see Top 12 Must-Have Newborn and Baby Clothes, or see  Top 25 Must-Have Newborn and Baby Items.



Are we missing something?
Share your funny baby gifts and baby items!  
Leave a comment below.




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5 Stages of Baby Bottle Grief – Goodbye Bottles, Hello Toddlerhood

5 Stages of Grief - Goodbye Baby Bottles

I miss bottles.  

I miss the bottle-only newborn days.  It was so simple to just prepare a couple of days worth of bottles.  Why didn’t I appreciate it more?  I have a near-toddler now that turns one-year old this coming Sunday.  Her feeding-requirements are changing dramatically and quickly!  How could I have been so deliriously exhausted that I overlooked the simplicity of the newborn/infant phase?   I have unknowingly been grieving the bottle-feeding process of the newborn/infant phase of my daughter.   First-world problems at their finest.

1. Denial

The Simple Days…Bottle

I drug-out the bottle as long as I could. I’m going to be honest here:  I selfishly wish that my daughter could have her nutrition needs satisfied by a bottle all the way until she is 18-years-old. I didn’t (don’t) want to acknowledge the fact that my baby girl is entering the next phase of her life.  I didn’t want to change the process that I had worked so hard to perfect.  


2.  Bargaining

I even began to think “What if…”.  “If only…”….I so badly wish that her health needs could be satisfied by the same process that we’ve been using since I stopped breastfeeding – the bottle.  But that’s not an option. I have no choice now. 

3.  Acceptance

With her 12-month birthday just days away, it is official now that solid foods are a necessary part of her diet (according to her Pediatrician and my other mommy friends).  She is going to be 12-months-old this Sunday, and her baby formula clearly states “0-12 months” on its packaging.  It’s official now:  my simple, bottle days with my first-born baby are coming to an end. 

4.  Depression

I’m sad.


Playtex Drop-Ins – I Will Miss You

It almost makes me want another baby.  I’m going to miss her adorable “gulp, gulp, gulp” noise that she makes when she sips from her bottle, and the way she lays on me while she gulps her bottle down.  


I think about another baby, but then I remember Pregnancy.  This was not a pleasant experience for me.  Uncontrollable vomiting during the first trimester.  The second trimester was actually great.  But the third trimester was met with a baby that had managed to crawl her way into my rib-cage and continuously kick my ribs…and my bladder.   I firmly believe that short people (such as myself) have a serious disadvantage in the child-bearing process in life – there is only so many places a baby can go while growing inside of you, and short people have less options than tall people!   

Back to my bottle-crisis:   I had finally just perfected my bottle-making system.  I have invested in so many Playtex Drop-In bottles over the past year….I can make almost 2 weeks worth of infant bottles.  My system was perfect….I could pre-make these bottles, and my baby and I could go anywhere! (Walmart, Target, her aunties’ house, Ruby Tuesday’s….).  It was so easy.  Why does it have to be over?

5.  Anger

It took me until my daughter was 9-months old to perfect this bottle system.   And now, three-months later, I have to change the entire baby-feeding process.  I know there is “Toddler Formula”…but it’s not the same!  My little baby/toddler wants big-kid food now – she wants blueberries, pancakes, shredded chicken….

I now bear the burden on providing a balanced meal for my child – this is a major responsibility, and I am afraid of failing.

I need a new system.  I need to figure this out! I need to find a way to streamline my Toddler food process, like I did with the bottles.  My first idea was to pre-make meals for a week ahead of time, but I have no room in my freezer!  Time to buy a new freezer?  Sheesh!

I have enough trouble going the bathroom with a toddler running/crawling around (and getting into EVERYTHING).  How the hell am I going to cook now?

Signed,

Terrified of Toddler-Food (aka, Mommy Mia)


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