Category Archives: Pregnancy

Pregnancy

Funny Books that Will Make (Almost) Any Pregnant Woman Laugh

I felt like a dinosaur during my third trimester (a dinosaur with a lot of gas…see more about how I felt like a dinosaur during pregnancy at My 3rd Trimester of Pregnancy – Thunk! Thunk! Here I Come!), and I just wanted someone who could empathize with me about how fat my feet were and how much they hurt. Two books that kept my sense of humor [somewhat] alive at the end of my pregnancy were written by two different woman, Jenny McCarthy and Vicki Iovine, who offer two refreshing perspectives on the realities of pregnancy, and they are not “too polite to complain or too embarrassed to talk about the discomforts and humiliations of pregnancy.”

2 Funny Books That Will Make 
(Almost) Any Pregnant Woman Laugh


Belly Laughs, by Jenny McCarthy

Link:  Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth


Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth reveals all the joys and sweet discoveries of being pregnant, from puking bouts and hormonal rage to hemorrhoids, pregnant sex, and big ol’ granny underpants. McCarthy draws from her own difficult pregnancy to discuss every stage of expectant motherhood in vivid, sometimes excruciating — and excruciatingly funny — detail. Belly Laughs is a must-read for any woman who is pregnant, has ever been pregnant, or hopes to become pregnant.




The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy, by Vicki Iovine

Link:  The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy

The author of The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy talks to you the way only a best friend can – from what to expect at doctor visits all the way to husbands and their lack of usefulness (at least at time).



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You Know You Have a Newborn When – Your Robe

You Might Have a Newborn When...
You might have a newborn when this happens….
  • At 9:00 pm on a Wednesday, you jump in your car for a late-night diaper-run (you hadn’t anticipated exactly which diapers would be the best fit for your newborn’s sensitive little buns, so of course, you hadn’t been able to ‘stock up’).
  • You pull into the parking lot, at Walmart, and park your car.
  • As you twist your car keys from the ignition, you haphazardly look down at yourself, and you realize that you are still wearing your fleece bath robe (the ugly bath robe that lays on the hook on the back of your bathroom door) – the bath robe that, at one point in your life, used to make you embarrassed, if and when, the pizza delivery man witnessed you wearing it when you answered the door.
  • But then, you become momentarily surprised, because all of the sudden, you realize that you have seriously stopped caring what people think of you – you are so tired – your newborn is depleting all of your natural energy, despite your pre-labor promise to yourself that this wouldn’t happen.  
  • You contemplate a new idea to yourself: “So what if I’m wearing my robe inside of a retail store?”
    • You tell yourself, “You should see what other people who shop at Walmart wear….so yeah…my robe probably isn’t that bad compared to those bozos.”
  • Your mind begins to drift back to your pre-pregnancy self, and you wonder, “What have I become?…..”
  • But then, you remember that driving back home and then back to Walmart would entail at least an extra 25 minutes (when you count both ways) to your trip.
  • Then, you envision how good it would feel to sleep on your fluffy bed (the bed that has the crappy mattress that you used to complain about)
    • ….or how good it would feel to take a shower….
    • …or to thoroughly floss your teeth. 
    • …Ahwhwhw…beedddddd….
  • You put your car keys in your purse, and you become suddenly liberated from the burdens of what was once society’s judgements.
  • You walk into Walmart, with your fleece bath robe still on.


Food for Thought:


Have you heard of the website “People Who Shop at Walmart”?  Before we judge the “people who shop at Walmart,” perhaps we need to consider whether these are just new parents who are tired as he**.  


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    My Third Trimester – Thunk, Thunk – Here I Come!

    I met all of the typical references that you hear people make regarding large, pregnant women: I was like a whale, or a boat, or a large bus.  But personally, my large, pregnant-self related more to the gigantic dinosaur –  the T-Rex.  Do you remember the famous scene from the movie, “Jurassic Park” – the scene  where the water inside of the water glass cup starts rippling as the heavy T-Rex approaches the Jeep?  Well, I imagine that the same thing happened to the water glasses belonging to my downstairs neighbors during my 8th and 9th month of pregnancy – whenever I would get up  from the couch and walk (i.e., stomp) into my kitchen (usually for my third full-serving of spaghetti or pecan bars). 


    Here is the video that I’m talking about:




    Once my gigantic pregnant-self accepted my T-Rex body, then I started to actually think like a T-Rex.   Do you remember that other toilet scene from Jurassic Park (the scene where the T-Rex eats a guy while he is sitting on the toilet)?   That’s what I secretly day-dreamed about doing to the person who said to me: “A woman from my work had twins and she went back to work 3-days later!” (See 7 Things to Never Say To a New Mom for more on this).










    Caprese Salad Recipe – Numminess Yumminess



    Ingredients:

    Caprese Salad with Pita Chips


    • Tomatoes – Vine tomatoes are great for Caprese Salad
    • Fresh Milk Mozzarella
    • Avocados – Such a yummy addition to the traditional Caprese Salad
    • Fresh Basil – “fresh” basil is key to deliciousness
    • Olive Oil
    • Balsamic Vinegar
    • Sea Salt  – It is very important to use sea salt (don’t use the boring kind of salt)
    • Fresh Ground Black Pepper
    • Pita Chips (for dipping)
    • Optional:  Toasted Pine Nuts

    Prep Time:

    • 15-20 minutes…….depending on how skilled and fast you are at slicing tomatoes, avocados and mozzarella

    Directions:
    Step 1 – Caprese Salad

    1. Slice tomatoes and mozzarella cheese in even amounts and spread them on a plate.
    2. Cut basil leaves into little ribbon-like slices and sprinkle them over the tomatoes and mozzarella cheese
    3. Slice avocado in medium-thin strips and place on the outskirts of your plate.
    4. Drizzle both the olive oil and the balsamic vinegar (65% olive oil and 35% balsamic vinegar) over your salad (be sure to drizzle – you don’t want to overdo it – you can always add more later
    5. Sprinkle sea salt and fresh ground black pepper over your salad, to your liking.
    6. Adding pita chips to this recipe seals the deal.  I spoon the salad onto each individual pita chip…so yummy.
    7. Optional: Toasted pine nuts can be a great addition.  If you choose this route, then make the toasting of your pine nuts your first step.

    Caprese Salad with Avocado



    Thank You Cards Made Easy

    Thank You Cards Made Easy, for Those Post-Baby Presents

    Throughout my pregnancy and after my little one was born, I was blessed to receive baby gifts from many people in my life – from my friends, to from my parents’ friends, to people at work. My list of people to write Thank You Cards to grew quickly, all the while I could barely keep my eyes open and hadn’t slept for longer than a 2-hour period for weeks, thanks to my hungry little newborn baby. I was lucky to sneak in a shower (as I often chose sleep instead).
    

    Front of Card

    

    Back of Card


    Do You Type Faster Than You Hand-Write?

    If you’re like me, you are faster at typing than you are at hand-writing.  I am of the generation where the art of hand-writing has been lost.  That’s perfectly fine with me.  I became stressed at the long list of Thank You cards that I needed to write after the baby came – I realize that may sound ungrateful and that may sound like a rather bratty thing to say, but I was so exhausted from the demands of my newborn and breastfeeding.  I was so tired.

    Solution to Your Thank You Card Problem:  

    Personalized Photo Cards With Typed Message (Shipping Included)


    How To Do It: 

    I used Hallmark.com to send my thank you cards (as low as $0.69/card from Hallmark), but there are dozens of other websites out there that offer the same service.
    1. Create an account at Hallmark.com (or another e-card website)
    2. Choose a template for all of your Thank You cards
    3. Upload a cute photo of your newborn to the cover of the card
    4. Edit the the custom message on the front of your card template
    5. Add a thoughtful “Thank You Message” to each person
    6. Add each person’s address
    7. Mark that you would like Hallmark to pay for your postage (if you want this)
    8. Hallmark (or other card company) will make your cards for you!
    You use the same template for each of your cards.  All you have to do is add a custom message and address for each person.  What’s also great is that Hallmark saves each person’s address to your “Address Book,” so there is no need to fish for that person’s address the next time you need to send them a “thank you.”

    The Hallmark.com website doesn’t exactly have the most user-friendly format ever (you may get annoyed but only a little), but Hallmark does have cards for as little as $0.69 each (the best price I could find for this service).  Here is a link to their website: Hallmark Cards.

    Note:  

    Some people (including my mom) think it is tacky to send a hand-written thank you card.  Personally, I disagree.  Plus, a typed thank you card is better than no thank you card (or a late one).

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    3D Ultrasound to Newborn Baby Side-by-Side Comparison (Part 2)

    Ultrasound Photo Compared to Newborn Baby – Similarities (Tessa)


    Due to the popularity of our first “ultrasound/actual-baby, side-by-side comparison” post (3D Ultrasound Photo Side-by-Side Comparison to My Actual Newborn Baby), I decided to do a “Part 2″comparison of my 34-week ultrasound photo to my newborn baby.  I loved googling “3D Ultrsound comparison to baby Photo” when I was prego, so I thought this may interest some of our readers.  Check out my ultrasound-t0-baby photo timeline at Ultrasound to Baby Photo Timeline: That’s a lot of growing in just 365 Days!






    Do you have ultrasound photo/baby comparison photos to share with us?  Share a link to your comparison photo by commenting on this post!



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    3D Ultrasound Photo Side-by-Side Comparison to My Actual Newborn Baby

    3D Ultrasound Photo Compared to Actual Baby

    When I was pregnant, I constantly ‘googled’ side-by-side comparisons of ultrasound photos and photos of the babies after they were born as a means to satisfy my curiosity.  I could not wait to meet my little beaner bear (yes, that’s her nickname)!  I needed to know if her 3D ultrasound/sonogram photos would be similar to the way she would look in real life once she was born.  

    It turns out, in my case, she looks exactly the same (in my opinion).  So I decided to do a side-by-side comparison to show you just show similar she looked while she was in my belly to her newborn face.  


    You may also notice that her 34-week ultrasound photo appears to show that she was missing the left side of her head.  I obsessively googled “baby missing left side of head in ultrasound photo” as well – and lost quite a bit of sleep.  Don’t do what I did if this happens to you during pregnancy.  Rest assured that my daughter was born with both sides of her head and yours probably will too.  Don’t let the ultrasound photos alarm you too much.


    You can also check out 3D Ultrasound to Newborn Baby Side-by-Side Comparison (Part 2) for another photo comparison using the same 34-week ultrasound photo from this post.  It’s also crazy to see how much a little human being can grow in such a short amount of time – a lot happens within the short span of just 365 days.  See my post Ultrasound to Baby Photo Timeline: That’s a lot of growing in just 365 Days! to see a timeline of how fast they grow in that first year!

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    Why I Almost Ate My Professor for Lunch – Graduate School and Pregnancy

    Pregnancy and My MBA
    “I almost ate my professor for lunch.”


    I began my Masters in Business Administration (MBA) program when I was 5-months pregnant and ended the program with a toddler.  

    MBA + Pregnancy = a few challenges

    My MBA program held lunch at 1:15 pm for its students.  ARE THEY SERIOUSLY SERIOUS?  1:15?  Do they have any idea how late that is to eat lunch?  Not having lunch until 1:15 pm, to a pregnant woman, is cruel and unusual.  But not even for just pregnant people, but 1:15 is still late for normal people too.  

    There were times that I contemplated eating my professor’s arm if he decided to continue with lecture for even 15-seconds past our 1:15 pm lunch break.  

    While I was pregnant during my MBA program, I literally, on purpose, gave my professor(s) the meanest  ugliest possible look I could possibly put on my face if that professor so much as went 5-seconds into my lunch hour (I do not recommend this!).  

    Looking back, my professors that semester probably thought I was absolutely batshit crazy – they probably wondered why this blonde, pregnant girl was trying to kill them with her stare.  


    The truth is that I was hungrier than a hyena   For me, an empty stomach during my pregnancy was always met with “morning” sickness (aka, “absolute Hell”) and an excruciating headache (I had a terrible first trimester as far as “morning” sickness goes).  On top of that, our classes started at 8:00 am – what kind of normal person would not be starving by 1:15?  That is just plain mean to make us wait until 1:15! What ever happened to eating lunch at noon, like society has taught us to do? 

    The student union of my college campus is the equivalent to a pregnant woman’s Disney Land – with everything from Burger King, to make-your-own pitas, to Crab Rangoon.

    Some suggested that, to combat my pregnancy hunger, I pack my own lunch…and “nibble on it during class.”  Sure.  That seems simple.  But why would I do that when there was an entire student union full of reasonably-priced restaurants for my fat, hungry, very-pregnant self to choose from?  So what did I do?  

    If you could flashback and somehow watch me during my so-called “bathroom breaks,” then you would have seen me, who was very pregnant, running/waddling across campus to the student union’s Burger King – for their chicken tenders that I had been thinking about all morning (and their sweet and sour sauce, of course), and fries.  Oh my!

    I took “bathroom breaks” during my MBA lectures, which is code for the fact that I frequently became a pregnant ninja and snuck my hungry, pregnant over to the student union’s food court.  

    Over time, I mastered the art of shoving chicken tenders in my face during my “bathroom breaks” and I am fairly confident that I broke a world record at how fast my 7+months pregnant body could waddle/run back to my seat in class.  All of this was done without any of my classmates ever knowing what I had just done – these were my top secret Burger King missions.  Muah ha ha.  Eventually, I became a master in this mission for chicken tenders – I perfected this process and narrowed it down from 20 minutes to only 14 minutes, all in which I made it from my classroom, to across campus to the student union Burger King, then I ate chicken tenders faster than you would ever think is humanly possible, and then would walk/waddle-run back to my classroom, and take my seat in class like nothing had happened (for all they knew, it takes a pregnant lady 14 minutes to pee).

    A Post-Share from Lifehacker – Parenting Surprises

    Around the Web Favorites

    A friend of mine shared with me an interesting post from Lifehacker.com (one of my favorite blogs to read) that I thought it worth-while sharing with all of you: “10 Things I Wish I Had Known Before Becoming a Parent.’ The article addresses some of the many surprises of parenting that shock us as we enter the foreign world of parenting for the first time: surprises such as how unexpectedly difficult conception can be – all the way to the brutal, torturous sleep deprivation from hell that newborns put us through. It’s a worth-while read. I had a similar post back in January 10 Surprises After Baby Came, but I have to admit that the Lifehacker article is a much better read.
    Here is a direct link to the post from Lifehacker.com:  10 Things I Wish I Had Known Before Becoming a Parent.

    Packing List for the Birth Center – When Baby Comes

    What do you pack for yourself (and baby) when you go to the hospital or Birthing Center for labor and delivery? Here’s a sample packing list that will help you remember all of the important things!  

    Tip:  Make a list of “last minute items” to pack – these are usually the items that you use daily (your bathroom robe, pillows, camera, etc.); you may also want to add the baby items that you still need (car seat, a ‘going home outfit’ for baby, etc.) to this list.


    Labor and Delivery Packing List:  What I Brought to Hospital Birthing Inn


    For You:

    • Bring Your Own Pillow 

    • Comfy Slippers
      • The ACORN Women’s New Spa Slide Slipper are super comfortable.

    • Comfy shoes
      • If you go into labor during dinner and forget to pack your “comfy shoes,” then you may end up going home in pajama pants and high-heels.
      • Socks
        • Non-skid socks are nice for effortless bathroom trips and/or walks around the birthing unit
        • If you have sweaty feet, bring your best sweat-absorbing socks
        • Bring extras.
      • Comfortable underwear (aka, granny panties)
        • Bring extras. Things get messy.
      • Nightgown
        • If you are going to be breastfeeding, try to find a nightgown that opens up in the front – for ease access
      • Robe
        • …because your butt will show in the back of the hospital gown.  I would recommend a terry cloth material for your robe because you’ll be sweating a lot.  The Women’s Terry Cloth Bathrobe Robe (Ecovaganza); An Eco Friendly Gift of Luxury is really comfy.

      • Thermos for water 
        • No-spill thermoses are the best.  I am obsessed with the Contigo AUTOSEAL Stainless Steel Vacuum Insulated Tumbler.  It keeps your drinks cold/hot and best of all – it won’t spill in your purse.  I take mine with me everywhere.

      • Comfortable Going Home Outfit for yourself


      For Your Significant Other:

      • Snacks / Drinks for Your Significant Other
        • They get hungry too – don’t let your spouse’s hunger hinder his ability to support you during labor.  Bring snacks that you know he’ll eat (for Mr. Mia, it was beef jerky .. but I made him eat it in the other room because I wasn’t allowed to eat).
      • Toothpaste and Toothbrush for Your Spouse
      • Toiletries for Your Spouse (deodorant, contact lens supplies, etc.)
      • Change of Clothing for Your Spouse 
      • Pajamas for Your Spouse
        • Make sure that his PJs are the type of PJs that he would feel comfortable wearing in a hospital room that hospital nurses are constantly walking in and out of
      • Pillow and Blanket for your Spouse


      For Baby:

      • Baby’s Outfits
        • Newborn Size and 0-3 months size, depending on size of baby (for twins or early deliveries, you may need to bring preemie sized outfits).  See Top 12 Must-Have Newborn Clothing Items for more newborn clothing essentials.
      • Cute Baby Hat 
      • Cute Baby Bows/Headbands (for girls)
        • Check out Etsy.com for adorable baby headbands and bows.
      • Swaddle blanket(s)

        • The Summer Infant SwaddleMe Blankets were my favorite swaddle blankets because they use Velcro (the Velcro is key and makes swaddling a baby significantly easier).

      • Diaper Bag
      • Side-Snap Onesie Bodysuits
      • Car Seat 
        • Make sure you have it installed in your car – they won’t let you leave the hospital without this basic step!  We used a Chicco carseat and loved it.

      • See Top 25 Must-Have Newborn and Baby Items for more must-have baby gear


      Misc.

      • Camera
      • Charger for the Camera
      • Cell phone charger
      • A good music playlist for distraction
      • Books to read that don’t require concentration
        • Personally, reading was the last thing that I wanted to do, but I’ve heard some women say that reading, for them, was helpful during labor.
        • When I was pregnant, books that took my mind off of how uncomfortable I was:  Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth and Baby Laughs: The Naked Truth About the First Year of Mommyhood (both written by Jenny McCarthy).
        • I also really liked the books The Girlfriends’ Guide to Surviving 1st year mother (Perigee) and The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy (both written by Vicki Iovine).

      • Pen and Paper 
        • Because what if you need to write stuff down?
      • Your birth plan (or an idea of what you want to happen)
        • If you have one…even though birth plans are usually worthless because you can’t really control too much of what happens during the process, and the nurses might laugh at you if you show them your “birth plan.”
      • Don’t forget a photo ID
      • Your Insurance Information
      • Your Check Book (for misc. orders)
      • Cash (for vending machines) and Credit Cards

      For Breastfeeding:

      • A book on nursing/breastfeeding
      • Nursing bra and nursing shirt
      • Snacks for you
      • Nipple cream
      • Nursing pads
      • Nursing pillow (e.g., the Boppy Pillow or the Leachco Cuddle-U Nursing Pillow)


      Toiletries:

      • Face Wash 
      • Shampoo and Conditioner (Travel Size)
      • Lip balm 
        • Nothing worse than chapped lips without chap-stick  and hospitals are dry
      • Loofah Shower Sponge (if you use one)
      • Sanitary Pads 
        • Find sanitary pads that are to your own liking (the hospital sanitary pads and huge and uncomfortable)
        • Make sure they are heavy duty
      • Contact Lens and Solution
      • Eye glasses (and case)
      • Make-Up 
        • (if you are so motivated)
      • Head bands and hair ties

      Did we forget something?  
      If so, leave a comment!

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